Matty

It feels like getting hit in the head with a baseball bat over and over again. It feels like getting punched in the gut repeatedly. It feels like you are at the bottom of a hole and you can't climb out. That's as far as I've gotten.

  6/11/2023 When a person is gone they live on mostly through the stories we tell about them, so I’m going to tell some stories about Matty, and I hope some of you will share your stories as well. Matty was my best friend, my constant companion, my collaborator, my son, and my daughter. Matty and I shared a hive-mind and if you don’t know what that means, it’s OK, Matty would have. Matty and I almost always knew what each other was thinking, Matty always got my jokes, we shared the same sense of humor, if I came up with an idea Matty was always quick to build on it. Matty shared my love for fantasy and science fiction. I could always count on Matty to be my partner whether it was for skiing, gaming, biking, hiking, inner-tubing, dancing, or canoeing. If anyone asks me the best day of my life, the answer is easy; the day Matty was born, even though it was fraught with difficulty and trauma. That was one of the first times Matty surprised us, arriving two months premature. Laurie’s d...

May 26, 2023  Dear Matty, I retired today. It was to be a celebration of my career. A reflection on my professional life. More importantly, there was the promise of spending more time with you, the prospect of not being too busy to give you the attention you deserved. We would have gone out to dinner, had a few laughs, and probably played a game later. Now it seems like just another hollow milestone you cannot share with me. It has been five months and two days since you left us. I miss you so much I can barely stand it. Love, Dad There's a hole in my heart the size of you, There's a you-sized hole in my heart, When you left my life broke in two, There's a you-sized hole in my heart.

  April 23, 2023 Matty's sister took this picture during the summer of 2022 while Matty and she were volunteering for the UCP golf event. I miss that smile! The medical examiner came out with a preliminary death report around February 20th. She confirmed that there were no drugs, toxic substances, or signs of illness. It was not Covid or pneumonia. The only thing they think it could have been was a cardiac arrhythmia. As far as we know, Matty was up playing computer games with friends until a little after midnight, playing Ultimate Chicken Horse. Matty lay down on the couch to watch Youtube. Matty played a video about Droids a little before 2 AM. The TV was programmed to turn off at 2 AM. Sometime during the night, Matty must have passed away. The next morning Matty appeared to be sleeping soundly on the couch. When Matty had not gotten up by noon on Christmas Eve morning Laurie when to wake her up. Matty did not respond so she called me to help. I told her to call 911. The first r...

April 16, 2023 This sketch probably doesn't actually do Matty justice but it helps me to process my grief. My wife tells me the eyes and smile are a bit off. I went to Hyvee today and I recalled how I had picked Matty up at work on December 21, 2022, and it was snowing. Matty had wanted to get some Dragon's Breath cheese for her sister Jackie for her birthday but Hyvee didn't have it anymore. I was rushed to get home because of the storm. Matty helped me find some Everything Bagels. Matty worked from home on December 22 and then was off on December 23. We found Matty on the couch on December 24. So Matty was not able to get her sister a Christmas gift. I wrote about our European Trip in a previous blog: Journal of Our European Trip

I believe this picture was taken at Black River Falls State Park around 2000. February 4, 2023 Matty passed away on December 24, 2022, at the age of 29. Matty was my only child. I am writing this to help me work through my grief. We don't know how Matty died, but Matty appeared to be sleeping peacefully on the couch. The autopsy is supposed to take six to eight weeks. It is now week six and we have not heard anything yet. We know there was no apparent trauma, no obstructed airway, and no sign of a tumor or obvious illness. Obituary Matty (Matthew) Loomis Mikelson passed away peacefully in her sleep from an unknown cause Saturday, December 24, 2022, at her home in Eau Claire, Wisconsin. Matty was born Nov. 8, 1993, to Hans Peter & Laurel Mikelson. Matty was an imaginative and creative soul whose outlets included poetry, creative writing, dance, canoeing, skiing, anime, fantasy and science fiction, and board games. Matty was exceptionally caring and kind, generous and compassiona...