Matty at One
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Dream
I dreamt about Matty the night before last. I was trying to get Matty to play a computer game with me, but I wanted to get to a certain point in the game before Matty could start. Then I started hugging Matty, and I could hear her heart beating. I started saying "I love you so God damn much" over and over again until I was screaming it and squeezing Matty as hard as I could. Then I woke up and thought I must have been screaming in my sleep, but Laurie was still asleep, so I guess I wasn't.
Christmas 1995
Our first family vacation was to San Diego California over Christmas vacation in 1995-1996. Matty had just turned two years old. This was taken on the beach at the Hotel del Coronado on the Pacific Ocean. Jackie and Megan were so excited to see the ocean they ran out into the water with their blue jeans on. It turns out this was the only time we all went on a trip together. This was at the petting zoo in Disneyland. We figured they must have drugged the animal because they completely ignored the kids no matter how aggressive they were. We went out to the caves in La Jolla and Laurie took this picture. This is also at La Jolla.
Religion
I can see the advantage of a religion that promises to reunite you with your loved ones after death. Who wouldn’t want that? The attraction for this is very strong, especially for parents who have lost a child.
NICU
30 years ago, I learned what a NICU was. Before Matty was born, I may have known what the letters stood for but I didn't really know what it was. How scary it was for a new parent. Matty was born two months premature. A week earlier we had taken my Isuzu Trooper into my cabin and gotten it stuck in the mud.